A week of Almost; Could Have, Had it All

Controversy. Disappointment. Frustration. Adversity. All these words could be great descriptions of the feelings going through my head in the past weeks and matches. Here is what I know... Losing sucks. PERIOD! No one wants to be a loser. You want to win. That is the whole reason of playing sports or any game for that matter. Ever heard that saying, " Winning isn't Everything. Its the Only thing." I am a total believer in this. I literally eat fast so I can finish
first. Funny as that sounds, its true. But the other thing you must know is that you cannot win everything. Sometimes you lose, some people more than others. Its the truth.

Again we played Cheseaux and Neuchatel; both for the fifth time this season. Not gonna lie, I am really sick of playing both these teams. Such is life. Not much to say about the Cheseaux match. It was definitely not my best stuff. Some days you just cant connect, and that happen to be the day. All my slides behind the setter were ineffective that day, and whelp that's pretty much all I have to off these days. I mean could it be the outside hitter matched up against me was having a great blocking day. Yeah, it could be, but somehow that is never the case when I am involved. But as a team, we were able to move on and win in four games. Actually I cant really remember anyone who really stood out this game on either side. It was just one of those matches for both team.

The frustration accumulated from that match on Saturday could not last long, because the very next day we had a Swiss cup match against NUC. This would be the forth time we have played them and yes, we are both very sick of seeing each other. But every time we meet it seems to be a pretty interesting match.



After the previous match, I would say I had a lot of caged up anger about a lot of things, but mostly about how I had played the day before. I was just waiting to release it though. And I tell you what; the first set was my anger management coming out party. In that first set, it was like everything I touched was golden. The slide that was so awful the day before, now was great. What a difference a day makes. Actually we jumped ahead of them with a pretty big lead, but like the story of our lives this season, we could not keep it up and lost the first set. Totally deflated our bubble.

After that happened, the match pretty much went the same way it always goes when we play NUC. We play okay enough to steal a set, usually with a score in the high 20's or 30's. But the end of the story always ends with us losing to NUC in 4. Every time. This time was not any different. A late comeback in the 4th was going well, but we couldnt get over deficit we always build. Come to think of it, we probably were leading at some point in this set. BUT.... That was all she wrote. 1-3 NUC!


And... I could not serve one ball in this match. #FAIL


Okay... I wouldnt be me if I didnt talk about the officiating this game and boy was it TERRIBLE. I mean I have played in many games and matches with three different sports. I have seen the worst of the worst, but this night was so bad, it was almost funny. Where do i start? First, the line judges are questionable every night. Its athletics you are gonna get bad calls. The up ref seemed like he had a personal stake in this match. At one point I asked Bryn, the setter from NUC if he was related to one of the girls on her team. It was that bad. He was making up rules that match. He even called a 8 second serving violation on Marina on Game Point. Who calls anything like that on game point. The funny thing is, we went back and watched the video and it was about 7 seconds. Counting 8 seconds is not hard, so he really had to have decided to call that before it happened. Another case... Joanna free balled a ball back over the net, clearly in bounds, and the ref called it outside the antennae. Unbelievable! Like he really had it out for us. I believe in games like this you need to let the teams play. Stop looking to blow your whistle. It was unfair, and I think that also had a lot to do with our demise. In our home gym of all places too. SMH!


So Im pissed we lost. But what pissed me off the most was the party they threw on our court. I mean they have a nice fan club. I would call them a little rowdy, over zealous, and noisy at times, but hey they support their team like no other. But after the game there was birthday celebrations and people singing Happy birthday. There was loudness and they were running all over our court, like it was theirs. It was like we bent over for them to kick our butts and then we gave them permission to throw a festival in our gym. I'm a friendly person and yes we all have friends on the other team, but please take a mental picture of this and keep it handy for when we play them. Im not a cocky person, but I am a proud person. The one thing I wanted my teammates to do was have some pride about this. They came in our gym, the refs screwed us and now they are having a party on OUR court. Pay back needs to be sweet for this.... To be continued!

Happy Martin Luther King Day

I want to take time out of my day today to show my appreciation for Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. His birthday was on the 15th, but today we celebrate the legacy of a man that started a movement that was so powerful and undeniable that it still affects all of us today. Besides whatever fallacies or faults people try to bring up to refute his legacy, it wont work because I like millions of others (including our President Obama) are living proof of his dream.

If it had not been for Dr. King I would not be able to appreciate the simple things that people today take for granted like education, eating in my favorite restaurant or even traveling around America or even the world. I definitely would not be a pro athlete living in Switzerland. I have this distinct luxury of traveling the world. I have friends from all over this planet, from many different countries, ethnicities and backgrounds. I have learned and accepted that there is no right or wrong way to look and live. That its okay to have friends that don't look like me or talk like me. This is all something that some people still don't know how to deal with, and that is just sad.

If there is one thing that people need to recognize it is that Martin Luther King Day is not just for black people. He stood for something much more than that. Its for all of us. Its about equality for all. Yes, back then the Civil Rights Movement centered around black people but there were many people fighting that were not black at all. And if that were so, it would have been called the Black Civil Rights Movement. Now a days its about treating everyone like God intended. We are all children of God and have the right to shine in our own rights without foolish rules or tactics being placed on our heads. I think that's what Dr. King wanted and it is what we all need to live by.

It is 2011 and even though we have come so far, we have not reached that plateau yet. Racism , bigotry, sexism, and homophobia still exists. Below is a blog I wrote about 3 years ago after I was called a Nigger in Germany. I was so angry, but I am still alive. No fire hoses were turned on me, I didn't get food thrown at me, my house or church was not bombed. But it still hurt and to have the courage to not fight back must have been so hard. I am still amazed by all the trials and tribulations those before me had to struggle with. Sometimes I do wonder which side of the movement I would have been on. Would I have stood by and done nothing? Or would I have marched, participated in sit ins, and have my life threatened over and over, without retaliating; remembering the nonviolence philosophy Dr. King stood for. Regardless of where you would have stood, we can all be champions of the cause today. Keep his Dream alive.

I Got Called a Nigger Today & Honestly I was Proud.... written March 28, 2008

I got called a Nigger today, and honestly I was proud. Proud? You say? Sure. Proud that I did not retaliate with some ignorant, racist comment. Proud that I did not pick up the nearest 2 x 4 and beat them to a bloody pulp. Proud that out of all the people in the world, I am more intelligent than at least 2 individuals.

As these two young Caucasian boys approached me, I desperately needed to ask them if I was getting on the right train. Good thing I did not speak fast enough. As they got closer, they yelled something and started laughing. After their so called fun, one proceeded to throw the ’Hail Hitler’ sign at me. I did not think much of it at the time, but as I boarded the train, I knew I did not want to sit in the same car as them so I went to another. One got up and followed me... chanting, "Nigger, Nigger, Nigger." I was like, "... your not even saying it right." That does not change the fact that I was still pissed off to the highest pissitvity. I wanted to take out a gun and press it on his forehead, while he pleaded for his life, chanting, " Yeah, your right I'm a nigger, a nigger whose packin’ (...and I’m bout to blow yo mutha f*ckin brains out -Samuel L. Jackson). But then I just would be falling into the stereotype of what people think black people are: Stealing, gangsters, on welfare who are going nowhere or coming from jail. And if we got money we’re automatically drug dealers. I am most certainly not that. I have actually been called an oreo before, but that is a whole other discussion.

What did I expect? I’m in Germany. The place where there was once a genocide of an entire race almost because of their beliefs. But if i go there then I must mention how 40 years ago (if I were alive), I would not have be able to eat at the same restaurant as some of my closest friends. So point taken. Racism is everywhere. Which made me think of something the comedian Paul Mooney said, " White people have the complexion with the protection." Not to be racist, but you can be white anywhere in this world just about and it wouldn't matter. You would just blend in, until you spoke of course. (And probably not so in some countries in southeast Asia). You can go to any store and find the right beauty products that match your skin. Me? I have to first look for the bottle with the black woman on it before I can wash my hair. Does life suck for everyone.... yes. I'm not saying it doesn't. All I am getting at is that there are a few more hurdles in my life.

Have we overcome? Sure... I have gone to an integrated school for as long as I can remember. But I couldn't help but be reminded of how Jesse Owens came to the 1936 Olympics in Berlin and dominated in front of a Nazi-ruled crowd so I can travel the world and play a game I love. I think about the sit ins in Greensburo, just so I can enjoy a meal with my family at Denny’s. I think about people like James Meredith, Dorothy Dandridge, Jackie Robinson or my own Mom & Dad- how many times they got called nigger. To me that is pretty good company.

I dont know how many people in the world got called nigger today. Maybe a lot, maybe a few. It was not the first time, and unfortunately it will not be the last. Lets stop the hate... Teach your kids how to fly a kite or kick rocks... Something! Ignorance is not attractive

I got called a Nigger today, and honestly I am Proud!

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. " -Martin Luther King Jr.

Best Christmas Ever: Ive Died & Gone to Paris

December 24, 2010- A day that will go down in the history of my life as one of the greatest days to ever happen... at that point. This was the day I could finally say and brag about going to Paris. This was the day I could finally take that black dry erase marker and draw a line through the words Paris, France on my Top 10 places I must see before I leave this planet. Well the line has been drawn, the city has been seen and conquered. Here's my story.

My journey began early Thursday morning. I spent the whole night mapping out a plan of what to do and ended up staying up later than i expected. So I set like 4 alarms so I wouldn't miss my 8 am train. Paranoid! Thank god I made it up that early.




















The train took about 3 & a half hours with a 40 minute delay; so it wasn't so bad. I suppose I was on the fast train. My only annoyance on this train were the constant people walking the aisle for nothing. I swear this one dude passed me about 37 times. And every time someone passed, they just had to put their hand on every seat, pulling the seat back, and waking me up every time. Ugh! I got up once and did not touch a seat.

Made to the Paris train station, which is one of 4, called the Gare de l'Est or the East station. From there Paris is really easy to navigate; as long are you can read and follow lines. Once on the Metro there are different colored lines that makes stop all through Paris. Again, really easy. The first place I HAD to see was the Musée du Louvre . TO be honest, I was not really familiar with the Louvre until I read the book The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown. Ever since then I have literally been obsessed with one day seeing it and and Mona Lisa. Trust me I was not disappointed.


When I stepped out the Metro and walked across the street. The anticipation was almost too much. I walked through that archway and when I tell you I got emotional; I mean tears started to fall. I was so unreal to me to be there in so much history. The layout alone of the entrance was so awesome. Everything was in the shape of a triangle with the exception of the Louvre Palace that housed the art. The Louvre Palace or Palais du Louvre was actually built as a fortress by Philip II and since then has been extended many times to it actual structure today. When King Louis XIV made the Palace of Versailles his home, many left over remnants were left over. After the French Revolution, it was then decided that the Louvre should be a museum to house the country's works of art.

It was so cold, but that did not take away from this incredible moment for me at all. I had arrived.





To enter the Louvre, you go through the glass triangle centered in the between the Palace and go down. Here, in the central, under the glass triangle is the info area. You can check your coat and bag, buy tickets, eat, shop at an Apple store and even get a cup of coffee at your favorite coffee stop, Starbucks. From there you can pick any hall to visit and view. Of course I ran straight for The Louvre's most popular display, The Mona Lisa.



Because the museum closed early on Christmas Eve, I didn't have much time, and 1 hour & half is not nearly enough time to see this whole place and take in its greatness. But oh did I try. I was racing through that place like a mad woman. In the end I highly recommend visiting the Louvre when you visit Paris.

My next stop would be to hustle across town in order to check in the hostel I had booked at the Square Caulaincourt Hostel. I was a bit conscientious about staying at a hostel. I mean have you seen that movie by the same name? But I researched it very well and it got many good reviews, plus I didn't come to Paris to stay in the Hostel, just to sleep there. Besides it turned out really nice. I stayed in a room with 3 bunk beds and 5 other girls. One of the girls was even from California. The hostel featured a breakfast with a French croissants, marmalade and coffee; as well as internet. We also had a curfew at 2am, but that was never a problem.

That Christmas Eve I spent a quiet night with some American friends Stella Odion & Carol Hamilton. Both of them played in Finland with me a couple of years back. We had a lot of French wine and cheese. It was subtle, but nice. Good to see old faces.


The next day, Christmas Morning i had no plans really, but then I remembered one of my best friends and roommates from college was also visiting Paris. So we decided to meet up at one of the most crowded places ever, the Cathedrale Notre Dame de Paris. Christmas morning mass was going on, but tourist could still come and visit like any other day. They just asked that you do not interrupt the service and those attending mass. It was kind of awkward, because so many people were coming and going and taking photos and talking and lighting candles. I definitely would have been distracted.



So the next quest was to find my dear friend Alexcis and her boyfriend in the middle of literally thousands of people. Tough task huh? Nope not really. As I stood adjacent to the opposite side of the church, I scanned the crowd. It was by God's grace alone that I spotted Marcus, her boyfriend taking photos. I raced through the church with the fastest walk ever, so that I did not miss them. I grabbed her from behind, because I know she likes surprises. No... IT was so good to see them, I felt like crying. We then sat a bit for some of the service that was completely in French and spent about an hour shopping.

After a scrumptious Christmas dinner, courtesy of Lex, we traveled to see France's main attraction. I have wanted to see the Eiffel Tower ever since I knew there was one. I have a cut out picture on my wish board, that I can finally take down. Walking up to the Eiffel Tower was great. It stood there, lit up in all its greatness. Some people do not like the lights on the Tower now, but think they are kind of neat. We decided to walk to the up to the second floor which was about 400 steps or something, but we were all athletes; or so we say. lol On that 2nd level was a ice skating rink, movie theater, restaurant and gift shop. What a great place for a date night. The only annoying thing was the many vendors down there trying to hustle you and get you to buy something. I could have done without all of them.


On the way back we stopped at a little cute dinner called Le Pointe de Seine to warm up. I had the chocolate Crepe with whip cream and Hot Wine, a specialty over her in Europe during the holiday season. So Good.



Such good times with Lexi and Marcus and I really appreciated their hospitality. We parted ways that night on the subway, but I'm sure we will see each other again soon. Great seeing ya Lex!





My last morning in Paris would only last about 4 hours, since my train left at 11 am. But there was one more place I wanted to go and see, and that was the Arc de Triomphe. In 1806, Napolean ordered this Arc be created to honor the Grande Armee, which during that time had conquered most of Europe. After yet another victory, Napolean told the troops, "You will return home through archs of triumph." Pretty neat.




After a quick solo photo session, I hopped on the Metro and headed to the train station to head home. What a wonderful Christmas it was indeed. You know before I came to France, people had warned me that the French did not take to Americans very well. Of course we have some history there. But I actually never encountered anyone even remotely rude until I got on the train to go home. And yes he was a tool. But overall Paris was very lovely and I hope to return very soon.

Au revoir!