Temporary Shut Down

Hey, just wanna say I appreciate those of you that follow my blog. So dont get mad, but I have decided to shut it down until the end of the Shakey's V League. I write this blog to really get things off my chest. Sometimes I say things and people dont really get it or they misunderstand. So this blog was created to express the happenings of my life and my career as a traveling volleyball player. That is all. I dont use it to bash people and I really ty to give people props when I can. But right now I think its best to not blog about volleyball right now. Ill try to finish some of my old blogs. Ill continue writing, but Ill probably publish them when I am back in the states.... Thanks for understanding and thanks for following. :D

Lauren

So You Want to Be On Top!?

"You want to be on top?" This might sound familiar. Its a line in the intro song to the television show America's Next Top Model. Ever seen it? Its a show were girls fight tooth and nail for the chance to be a high fashion model. They get like a contract and a spread in some magazine. Its their dream. But I guess we all have dreams and aspirations of some sort in our lives. You want to be the best Basketball player and go to the league. You want to be smartest in school and be the valedictorian. You might want to be the best barista at Star Bucks. Whatever! But its the goal right. Its always the goal, whether it happens or not. Its not like we wake up and say, its okay I just want to be average today. You don't step on a court and say, its okay if I am not the best I can be. Nooo

So my point is, you don't do whatever you do to not be at least good at it? Or am I wrong. But what happens when you reach that pinnacle in whatever arena. Hey it could be back yard badminton. Two things are for sure. First off, when you have climbed to top of your mountain or hill, isn't there always another mountain to climb? When you are on top, there is always room to improve. You think MJ just stopped when he was considered the best? The next thing you realize is that there are always people on your heels scratching and gnawing to bring you down. You permanently have a target placed on your forehead.






Can you handle it? The pressure. Can you walk the walk and talk the talk all the time? Can you come out every night and perform and take the pressure of failing and the criticism that comes with it? Its hard I tell you! Some one said, " That you got to bare a cross if you want to wear a crown," and I totally get it. There is a responsibility, or at least everyone else in the world believes there is. Don't believe me, ask Lebron James. This guy just wants to play basketball and be the best at it, he has people burning his jersey and threatening him. Okay that hasn't happened to me, but being considered "good" or the "best" at something has its price. Are you ready to carry the load for everything even though its a team sport? Are you ready to accept responsibility when things don't go right, whether its your fault or not? Are you ready to have that asterisk by your name when you don't win or get that ring or championship. See Derrick Rose, Steve Nash, Dan Marino, Charles Barkley. Ok D Rose is a little premature. ;)


Today was one of those days where I was knocked down hard. Was I blinded by my own ambition? I don't think so. But sometimes I want to win so bad, that it seems to be all that matter. Its like... do I follow my expectations of me or everyone else. In my career I have been on both ends of the spectrum. Ive been at the bottom where I got my behind kicked and chewed out every day at practice. I been at the top where I was asked to do a little bit more because I could. Neither place is comforting. The last game I played really poorly. Not on purpose of course, but it was just one of those days. I feel like I let everyone down. People did not hesitate to let me know I let everyone down. Did I crack under pressure? I don't know? But that is the responsibility I have to bare because I want to be the best at something. I demand more of myself and sometimes it blinds me from reality. But whats wrong with that? Yeah, I could be average. You know right there in the middle of the pack. What fun is that? My Mom's used to say you get a C just for showing up to class. Nope I want more in my life. Is it wrong to demand more of myself and the people around me. Isn't that what leaders do? Again see Lebron James.


I'm an emotional person by nature. I want to win. I want to help. I want to motivate. I want to prove so many people wrong. I want to be the best. There are so many things that I want.... but always understand this... Champions pay the price one way or the other. I'm not saying I am this Champion or anything, but Id sure like to be one. I didnt come into this seeking awards or records. I never have. I never will. I just came to play and help my team win But being the best requires sarifice, patience and yes, there is glory but there is also a price to pay. And then I ask myself "So you want to be on top, Lauren?" Am I ready for it???

Happy Sabbath from the Philippines!

Happy Sabbath. Well my time in the Philippines was not all about playing volleyball. I also got a chance to venture out and worship with fellow Seventh-Day Adventist. I have been a Seventh-Day Adventist since birth and so is my whole family, just about. Its been hard because the 7th day is our sabbath and many times it coincides with my athletic competitions. But this is the first time I believe in my career that it would not. When my coach heard of my faith, he would not allow me to train with the team on our day of rest. That too was a first. All I could think was, "wow what an amazing experience already and now this."

The Three Angels Church, which used to be known as The Manila Chinese SDA Church was relatively close in Sta Mesa. I arrived to a warm reception. THe message was very good, although I dont remember what its was. I know it was in English and that was pretty cool. It was also communion. Overall, its pretty much like my church back home. We washed each others feet and prayed together. We took the bread and the blood, prayed and worshiped. Afterwards we sat down and ate a delicious pot luck dinner. All I have to say is they had Plantain and it was amazing.

A couple of weeks earlier I visited The Manila Adventist Medical Center, which was a school and hospital with a church on the campus. It took me a while to reach the church, so I was a little late. Shhh, dont tell anyone. But I did catch most of the message on how social media is not Christ-like and how it poisons our minds. Pretty true. Although I did not really meet up with folks after, I still enjoyed being around other Adventists.

Navy Match: Feels like Were Playing Battleship for Real!

September 15th, 2011- Navy Match, Part Deux and trust me, I didn't want a part 3. This was it. San Sebastian needed one more victory to reach the Finals of the Shakey's V-League Open Conference season 8. So many things were running through my head at this very moment. Would we be ready? Would we let it slip through our hands. What adjustments had the Navy team done since last game? Could we close it out? All of these things were not in my control. The only thing I could do was go out and play my hardest so that our team could have an opportunity to win. That's the only thing we can ever control.... Ourselves. I hadn't got much sleep the night before. I was a little bit jittery. Had some nervous energy. Our last training had been horrible for me. Things just were not gelling for lack of a better word. So there was worry there too and because I am the guest foreign player, there is always pressure for me to perform at my highest level, even when things don't seem to be gelling right. So I had to get over that immediately.

Walking into the arena, we were the first match up of the night. I was informed that the Navy squad had picked up Aiza Maizo from the Air Force to replace their injured player. Nice pick up. She is a very talented player, but for me the game plan does not change. we still have to come out and play our game no matter who is on the opposite side. Even without some of their best players, I still believed the Navy team was tough as nails.

Warming up and preparing to play the Navy is always different than for other teams. From day 1 it seems that there was this negative resentment towards each other. And today would be no different especially after the events that have gone on between these teams. All I can say is hey, " I came here to play volleyball. That is it." There is no ill intent from my end. I just wanna play and be the best I can be for my team. I cant change the past no more than anyone else in that arena tonight. Definitely no love would be lost on this match as well. So if you need someone to dislike, than go right ahead. I can take it.



Set one went on as usual. Navy came out a bit on fire, but we were able to hang in there for the time being. Jeng personally came out on fire, like she was carrying a grudge of some sort. You could tell, or at least I could that this was personal for her. So I let her be and do her thing. I, personally was not playing like the Lauren that everyone expects, but it was enough, because my team was picking up any slack for everything and everyone. So its the middle of set one and we just have a major breakdown in everything. Its super frustrating when you are hitting the ball pretty nicely and getting great looks and then the team on the other side is getting the ball up. Not easily, but they are playing defense around your hits. When that happens you often panic, because its like, "Uh Oh, what now." What you have to continue to do is play. Teams are gonna dig balls and they are gonna make incredible plays and that is what this Navy team was doing. You have to weather the storm, and SSC always has a hard time doing that. When things go bad, we have a tendency to panic and start harping on our mistakes, then of course making everything worse. Its like the saying, "when it rains it pours." So they were defending everything. But we cant stop playing just because they have turned up the heat. And just with a snap of a finger, SSC was down again by a large margin. This time I was completely ineffective. Maizo was destroying our defense as we could not defend her at the net or on the floor. Our weak spot was being exposed to the fullest.


It was starting to look like game one, and today I was thinking, there is no way we can do this twice. But leave that in hands of Jeng, the Queen of swing herself. Jeng literally put the team on her back and carried us. With some great defensive plays by Jen S, Jen Manzano, and Jhoy we started to climb our way back into this match. Daphna too was getting hot with her blocking and putting down some crucial kills. I was so hyped and almost jealous I could not be apart of that on the court, but trust me I was enjoying it so much from the sidelines too. And can you believe SSC came all the way back again to snatch the set away from Navy, this time there were no extra points. The great part for me was that I had no part of it at all. To everyone saying, that we only have 2 players, and you can never win like that. Well today they won without me and that is ever so comforting.



The next two sets I really didn't do much either, and I didn't have to really. I just did my job to the best of my ability, which is all a team ever needs. Coach Roger says, "No one of you needs to be a Hero, we will all play." And he was so right tonight. We still were having problems defending Maizo, but we continued to weather the storm enough to stay on top and win the next two sets. We closed this set out better than we have done int he past. And I was really proud to be apart of this team on that day. We had done it. We are going to the "Ship. And I was ever so happy to finish it in two. There is a saying, " You can work hard now or later." So happy we worked hard now.



As for my last comments on playing the Navy... I hope the end of this game is the end of every underlying thing that has happened. The unfriendly glances, the resentment, the no shaking my hand after the match. Yes, i noticed and it pissed me off, but I'm over it now. Because.... Its a game. We play, we battle, we win or lose, but at the end of the day its still just a game. If we cant let by gones be by gones, well than I guess we will be rivals for the rest of our lives and that's cool too. Hey, not every story ends like Rocky and Apollo Creed! :)

"Oh yes, the past can hurt. But, you can either run from it or, learn from it." The Lion King

We goin to the 'Ship! Hey!



Photos Courtest of Pinoy Spikers...

Oh Goody! We Play the Navy Again!

Okay, so the title is pure sarcasm, which I happen to speak fluently. Deal with it. But honestly speaking, we have trouble when were playing this team. They are a tough team that houses 2 of the leagues top players. Quite frankly they are intimidating to say the least. I don't know what it is exactly. Well I do, but I wont comment on that here. Lets just say I have enough "fans" and they let me HEAR about it every time we play. But this match is always "interesting" for lack of a more positive word. (I think I said this in a previous blog), and this night would not be any different. Split 1-1, this meeting in the semi finals could have gone either way and everyone knew it.

Playing the Navy always puts a little knot in my stomach due to our previous history. First time we met, we lost 0-3 in a match I don't believe we played well in at all. And because of certain actions that happened during that game, I've held a grudge ever since. The second time we clashed, two key players from both side went down with injuries. It was a 5 set thriller and some pretty darn good volleyball. But we know how much I love playing 5 sets.



Starting off the match, SSC came out pretty solid. Even though we were trailing, I was proud of us. Navy's Roces was on fire though. Keys 1 & 2 to the game is always to contain Roces and Bautista. They have a solid squad, so we want to force the others to beat us. Its kind of what teams do to Jeng and I. We were able to sustain a pretty nice lead and hold on for the win. Huge for us. But the problems always start when the 2nd set begins. This is where mental toughness comes up huge. Winning the first set is the easy part.


Second set started pretty evenly as well. They inserted Laborte in the line up and we were playing her for the first time since her ankle injury. Play was going on as usual, until Bautista came down on my foot after a tight play at the net. She winced in pain and all i could do was say sorry and wonder if she was okay. No one wants anything like this to happen. Being a fellow athlete who is THE Queen of ankle sprains I can really relate and I know how awful it can be. I severely tore two ligaments in my ankle about 3 years ago, playing in Finland. It was some of the most excruciating initial pain I have ever been in. I was out for a whole month on crutches.

So I know the whole deal. I have severely strained my ankle about 4 times where I have been on crutches and out of whatever sport I was playing at the time. SO I empathize and I wish that pain on no one.

After the match resumed, SSC went on a light run. Things were looking up on our side and I returned to the bench we were up 13-8. I remember, because it marked the beginning of a very long time before I would even return to the court. The Navy went on a treacherous run led my Roces in which she was simply unstoppable. Our side crumbled under pressure. All I could do was look on from the bench. After about 2 timeouts and constant attacks from the Navy, I was sure we had lost this set. The crowd had gone nuts over their run and I'm pretty sure it felt like we were playing in their arena. Finally I was able to enter the game again. This time to cheers, but a ton of boos. lol Anyways, the score was 16-23. No Lie. I'm thinking, what am I gonna do with this kind of deficit. But just like the Navy did not give up, we could not either.

So going back in the game, I knew we needed a run like no other. There was no room for error and we did just that. Combined with great serving from Daphna, and defense from our back row, we begin to climb ourselves out of this whole. We could only come back point, but point. Cant look at it as a 9 point deficit, just point by point. Before I knew it, we had come all the way back to have our first set point of the match. Well of course it didn't end there and there would be many more match points. I actually had to go out and come back in the game before we could finish it and when the last ball dropped on their side the score was 34-32 with us taking the victory. That set lasted 34 minutes. AMAZING volleyball to say the least.



The third and final set we would play was a bit more relaxed as the pressure was not on us any longer. Going up 2-0 after that remarkable set left me speechless. Now all we had to do was close. And now it felt like we were the villains of this league, well at least I felt it. Every time I would enter the game, I heard cheers, but there were still were very poignant boos. WOW! I thought. All that negative energy for little ole me. Yeah it was rude, but its all in the game. No I have not been personally booed like that. Ive been booed being apart of a team as a whole, but never personally just for me, so that was a new one. But really, when I am in the game, I am so focused and in the zone that stuff like that does not really bother me. It motivates me. My father always tells the story of when I played volleyball at Wisconsin and we were facing Illinois in a match. It was a very volatile atmosphere, but I barely remember. Its about focus. So Yes, I get it. For example, I am not the biggest Tom Brady fan. I think I have booed him actually. It happens, but the most important part is how one reacts to it. Ever heard of a guy by the name of Lebron James?

Finishing up the match, it really started to feel like we had accomplished something huge on our side. We cracked and then regrouped. That's what winning teams do, and if we are to be a winning team we have to be able to pick ourselves up and continue to strive for that common goal. One more game and we are in the finals. Focus!



Congrats to Rubie, the One-Armed Magician, De Leon for player of the Game with 52 excellent sets. Rubie was actually became an attacker this match as well. lol She loves hitting and if she digs the ball to me, I will set her. :)







"I'll be a fool to surrender when I know I can be a contender."

Photos are courtesy of Pinoy Spikers and Cesar Bailen Jr.

9/11: I Never Forget, This Is How I Remember

September.11.2011- WOW, writing that date, saying that date, seeing the date will always be synonymous with complete terror I witnessed early one Tuesday morning 10 years ago. But along with that terror we saw so much heroism and courage. I don't think the country has ever been so patriotic, and even though we were scared, it felt good to be apart of all the Patriotism. But you know what else? It felt good to stand after you have fallen. In athletics you lose, you are knocked down, you fall hard. But the most important thing is getting back up. For me sports has always been mine way to feel better and I think this country used it to heal as well.

A decade ago I was a senior at Lawrence North High School. 2001 wasn't an exceptional year. Okay that's a lie. It was huge for me. I had just discovered Club Volleyball which led to me being recruited to play D1 volleyball. I chose Wisconsin remember. I also was selected to play on the US Youth National team and trained that summer. The day after I returned, I found out one of my favorite singers ever, Aaliyah, had been killed in a plane crash. Started the school year with a full back page feature in the Indy Star and was expected to do big things on the court that year. Okay, so I was having a pretty awesome year... Oh and the Yankees were in the World Series... Yeah!

September 11th was not an ordinary day to me, as I was "skipping" school as apart of Senior Skip day at LN. The rest of the school was taking I-Step and there was no reason for me to be there. I eventually had to come because you have to be in attendance to participate in sports. Come on, I lived to play sports. So not really a skip day for me. I woke up and convinced my parents to let me stay home for the first couple periods. Unable to sleep I turned on Good Morning America and shortly thereafter, the program was interrupted with news of a plane hitting one of the WTC. At the same time, my father yelled upstairs saying the same news. Not really thinking much of it, I payed more attention to the report and it was minutes later that I saw a plane hit a building. Wait? Was that a replay?

Nope, I like many other Americans that morning had witnessed the 2nd plane flown into the south tower. By this time, my father was belligerently yelling, "we are under attack, America is under attack." I can only describe the next minutes as being one of the most terrifying horrific sights I have ever seen. We heard of 2 more hijacked planes in Pennsylvania and the Pentagon and it was like OMG, my country is under attack. It was scary. And then the unspeakable happened. The south tower collapsed and I was just frozen in emotion. I held my breath in sorrow. It was just unreal. Something from a movie, not real life. It was not until years later did it become clear to me, that we had just seen the murder of innocent people.

At this point, I thought what was the point of even going to school, like ever. We are at war, right? Would there be more hijackings? What city was next? Am I safe to go outside? I was miles away from NYC, but it felt like it happened right outside my window. It was so weird, because it was a sunny nice day outside. A little breezy, but nice. I drove to school and no one was on the roads. Creepy. Lawrence North was locked down; no one in or out. I was like, "what am I supposed to do, sit outside in my car? What if I get bombed out here?" As a 17 year old, yes I was thinking all sorts of crazy things. Finally letting us into the gym, I gathered with many other seniors arriving from their Skip day. We all sat there in complete shock! The rest of the day was pointless. Its all we talked about all day. Most teachers had the TV on. Many students had missed it because they were at school and were mostly filled in by others that saw it on TV.

All of the sporting events were canceled or postponed to a later date. It was a crazy time. It was a sad time. All you saw on TV were images of a gloomy, dust filled New York City, death tolls, and video of family members in search of their loved ones. But we also saw and heard the most heroic stories ever. Stories of Firemen and policemen and first responders that were going into the towers saving people. We heard the story of United Flight 93, and wow talk about the resiliency of some people. It was just inspiring and amazing.

As things got back to normal, or as normal as can be expected, we went back to doing what we do. For me that was being a student and of course being an athlete. There is nothing like relieving stress than spiking a ball right? Our first match back was against powerhouse Cathedral, and I remember that because just as we were exiting the bus, the song Proud to Be an American came on the radio. We all stopped in our tracks, remained on the bus and sang it, like it was nothing. It was a goose bumps experience. Man! And walking into that gym, I felt obligated to play the hardest ever for some reason. I mean men can run into unstable, fiery buildings, I think we can dive on the floor for a ball. In my four years at LN, I have never been on a team that has won a set against Cathedral. Seriously. So can I gloat and say we took the first set by such a large margin, the Irish left the court and returned to the locker room in between sets. WOW!

We lost to Cathedral in 3, but know that was a great day for me. I think everything I went through that day, was the same thing this country was going through. We were trying to find a way back. And just like I was releasing through spiking those balls, the nation was releasing by cheering on our sports teams. Especially the Yankees. America's past time had been shut down for a little while, but when it came back, people found a reason to get pumped up again. You have to remember the inspired play of Mr. November himself, flipping into stands to catch foul balls. And we all were proud Yankees then. Just like the Wildcats, the Yankees were defeated by the Diamondbacks, but no one really hung their heads. It was an amazing and inspiring series. A nation that had once been hurt and traumatized had a reason so stand up and cheer again.



So here I am 10 years later, doing the same thing. Bouncing a ball onto the other side of a court. Ive had my ups and downs. Ive won and lost, but one thing remains the same... i just cannot give it up. So on this day, September 11, 2011, we play the Philippine Navy. I wont forget. Never forget. I am the sole representative from America in this entire Shakey's V league. With red, white, and blue painted on my nails, and USA written on my taped up fingers, I remember all those lost on that day. And I remember all those lost defending our country ever since, keeping me safe so that I may continue to do what I love.



God Bless the United States of America

Final Match. Time to Regroup

September 6, 2011- Last game of the quarterfinal round. Although we have already qualified for the semis, this match was still important for a couple reasons. One, we still are in contention for the #1 spots, thanks to Maynilad's 3-1 victory over team Army a couple of days ago. Yes, I typed it, and it is just as shocking typing it as it is saying it. Army lost to Maynilad. So with that we both have a 4-1 standing that will come down to a point system. Secondly, this match is important to regroup as a team. After we were retired last match by the Army, I think it will do us good to get back on the right track.

This day we would be with only 7 players. The rest of the SSC team had traveled to Bocalod to play in a volleyball tournament. Best wishes to them as well. So it was really important to come in and take care of business off the top. 7 players with no substitutions is like playing with fire and we couldn't afford to play extra sets. WE needed to rest so we can be ready for the potential start of the semis on Thursday.


First set went pretty well. We started off exchanging points as most matches often start. Didn't really get on a run unto mid way through. Things seem to be going okay for us. Rubie was getting her hitters nice looks, Jill's and Jen's reception were awesome. Daf was putting away some long rallied balls as well. It was not perfect, but we were playing as a team. Maynilad stayed tough the whole way though. They have excellent offense coming from their open hitter, Joy Cases. That girl can jump! We also had trouble defending their middle Beverly Boto. But we were able to come out on top.

The next set would be a different story. We had trouble from the jump. Complacent again, I guess old habits die hard. Its so important after you win the first set, to come out with that same intensity and competitiveness in the second; especially in a league where it has been proven that anyone can beat anyone on any given night. For our team, relaxing is not for us. We cant seem to control it enough without becoming too relaxed. In a league where a point system is used to tie breaks, letting teams, in this case Maynilad score in the 20's will not help our cause at the end. For sure! Trailing in the late stages of the game and then tying the game up at 20, ever point became huge. Again we back ourselves in a wall, were we have to play under pressure. No bueno. With some good saves, defense and kills by, the Lady Stags were able to hold off Maynilad in set 2 as well.

Set 3 was also pretty even, with SSC having a slight edge. The important thing being up 2-0 now was to finish, which we have had problems doing as well. But we were able to hold off their run and take the 3rd set as well. Rube De Leon was awarded player of the game, and boy has her serving helped us out a lot lately. She is now leading the leagues in aces.




With our final game in the book, the only questions would be, "will it enough?" " Did we win by enough to take over the lead?" "Who might we play next round? It was a very tangled web. 1st place was still up for grabs and apparently so was 3rd and 4th place. The match following ours would determine who makes the finals. Currently the standings are :

1. Army 4-1
1. SSC 4-1 { Im pretty sure Army has the lead simply because of sets won/lost
3. Ateneo 2-2
4. Navy 2-3
5. Airforce 1-3
6. Maynilad 1-4

The next would determine the semis for sure with Ateneo facing off against the Airforce. It Ateneo wins, then they are 3-2 and secure 3rd place. If Airforce wins, they force a 3 way tie with Ateneo and Navy. At least 1 playoff match would be played.

The plot always thickens doesn't it?

Photos are courtesy of Kristine De Guzman Ilano. Thanks for the wonderful photos.

Don't Stare at Me Bro!

Imagine walking outside and the whole world stops to look at you. To analyze you. To stare at you. They point. They subtly try and nudge their friend so that their friend can also get a look at you. Ever happen to you? That is pretty much everyday for me here in Manila. I am here supposedly to play in the Shakey's V League. To play volleyball. To have fun and experience different cultures. Well that is my whole spiel on why I do this. But this time its different. Some days I don't even want to leave my room, simply because I am sick and tired of people staring at me. Its cool to have fans and I appreciate all them. I really do. They come up and speak to me and say hi and are very friendly. I really love that. What ruins it for me are those that are just rude about it. The ones that sit up and watch you eat like you're a caged animal at the zoo. The ones that will literally run into objects just because they cant stop staring. Yeah, thats funny and I laugh, but a lot of the time I just want to walk out the house and have people just ignore me.

It wasn't so long ago that I was visiting my friend in LA and I was totally obsessed about being "discovered." We went to Hollywood and I pranced around there like I was somebody. I loved every minute of it. People either thought I was a Williams sister or that I hooped for the Los Angeles Sparks. Either way they thought I was somebody and that made me feel like I was somebody. I wanted people to think I was famous. I wanted the paparazzi to snap shots of me. lol Funny as it may sound, its true. Fast forward 3 years, Im here and now I feel like the new kid at school trying to find a seat in the cafeteria. The whole world stops. So it made we think... Why do we idealize or scrutinize people that are different from us.


Do I realize I am a 6'2 black woman in the Philippines where the average height of a female is probably the same height I was at age 10? Yes. Would there be such a visual commotion if I was a short black woman? Hmm? Or how about if I were a white woman? Maybe. I want to say the color of my skin is not an issue here and that they are just enamored with my "amazonistic" features. But when you have people that make racial comments about you, calling you the Dark Side or black forest, it gets kind of hard to put away that argument. But I'm not just going to say that has happened here. We live in a world where being black does not put you on top of the most popular list. But that is a whole other blog. I'm just wondering when did the world become this place where you have to look a certain way to be considered normal. When did we as God's children get in such a hurry to be and look like this imaginary perfect being of what normal looks like or what beautiful looks like. Hell, what wealthy looks like. Since when was it wrong to be born the wrong color, or the wrong height or the wrong sex. When did this happen? Or maybe we never changed and its been this way from the jump.

Since when is it wrong to be Lauren Ford, adark-skinned black, volleyball player that also loves basketball. That is a die hard Colts fan, that loves the Yankees, that loves kickin it with the fellas, but also loves painting her fingernails the girlie-st shade of pink. Who loves wearing eye-liner and mascara in her volleyball games, but who loves to lounge around in XXL sweats. Who loves high top converse and 4 inch heels. Who loves hip hop and R&B, but also listens to Panic at the disco and Fall Out Boy. Yeap call me Emo. I like playing with the boys, that doesn't mean I don't want to be handled like a girl. My hair its kinky. No the soles of my feet and hands are not brown. When I stay in the sun, I get black. YES, why is that a bad thing. Didn't you just go to the tanning bed yourself? And I'm tall. Just like God gave you short legs, he gifted me with long ones. Maybe I should walk around pointing at people and making fun of how short they are. You know why I don't? Cuz the world would simply suck if everyone looked the same. And you know something else.... That same person that we idolize and picture as being the most beautiful has something about themselves that they don't like as well. So telling me or staring at me as if I don't fit in is just as absurd as saying I don't belong on this planet Earth.

I guess I just wish people would stop defining what beautiful or normal is with a checklist. I'm 6'2 and black. Cant change that anymore than you can change the fact your pigeon-toed and are the size of a 4th grader. But maybe you can stop staring at me and just say hi. I always wave back! :)

Its Gotta Be Shakey's... Press Conference

September 2, 2011- Its gotta be... Its gotta be... Its gotta be Shakey's. So here is my confession..... I LOVE THAT FREAKING SONG! Honestly. When we walk out to be announced, I am singing it in my head. On the bench during commercial breaks I am humming it. Randomly during the day I will just break out singing it. Its got me hooked. Now if I only knew the words. :)

Well my Thursday was not all that great. We were defeated by the Army in a not so pretty match. And pretty much everyone was letting me know I didnt play well at all, even though I led all scorers. But im not going to go into that here. My Friday just happened to be awesome, which was exactly what I needed. I was asked to be a guest judge at the San Sebastian Opening Ceremony for Intramurals along with Anthony Del Rio and Miss NCAA. We judge the Mr & Miss Intramurals along with the grade school dance competition. It was fun and I was honored!

Later that day the greatness kept happening. Jen, Jeng & I were invited along with
Sattanayuchit Wirawan and Lasungnern Piyatada to attend a private party for all the import players in thw Shakeys V league. IT was sort of a press event. We met many of the "bosses" of the Shakey's Pizza Organization here in the Philippines. So stoked because I absolutely love Shakey's pizza ever since I tried it for the first time last week. Had the Cheeseburger pizza... Yum..


This day we got the works. 4 kinds of pizza, chicken wings, Mojos (potato skins) with gravy, 2 types of pasta and milkshakes. It was incredible. Be still my stomach! The hospitality was great! So a big thank you to all those who were serving us. It was amazing.

Then there was a brief presentation, photos and interviews. We were presented with official Shakey's volleyballs and we got 3 Tumblers to take home. So cool! Had a blast with the girls and everyone involved including Jinni Modejar, who was the best hostess ever. Also said goodbye to Wirawan and Piyatida as they were leaving to return back home to Thailand. Overall it was a great time! :D Days like this really make me appreciate what I do. Thank you Shakeys. And I will eventually learn the words to that song!

From Baste with Love!

We Couldnt Hit the Floor With the Ball.... Literally

September 1, 2011- Ever heard the saying in sports... "the ball just wouldn't go in." or the "ball just wouldn't drop." Sometimes you might say, "we couldn't hit the floor with the ball." All those sayings are implying that the player did all they could and it was the ball that would not co-operate. Well that was not the case on this night. The ball had nothing to do with our complete breakdown on this night.

It was another over-hyped night at the San Juan Flying Arena. WE just witnessed a pretty impressive match before ours where Ateneo defeated the Navy team. Coming into this match, in all honesty, I was exhausted; both mentally and physically. Something in the air just told me that this would not be a night of celebration of Team SSC.

Let me preface this. We had just come off not one, but two thrilling 5-set matches that were played to the max. In both of those matches, I was nursing some ailment wrong with my body. And I believe everyone else was tired as well. Our libero Jen was still day to day with her knee injury. So on paper were might have looked like a strong team, but walking onto that court, know it was not the case. I was not 100% at all and my body knew it. My knee was locking up. I couldn't jump with ease. I was in pain. But what could I do. I had to play right?

You ever just get that feeling that tells you that something is about to go wrong. That the mess is about to hit the fan. Yeah that was exactly how I was feeling right before this match. I had this same feeling the fist time we played the Army, and here it was again manifesting itself. Not fear, just uncertainty. But athletes go through that. no excuses. Suck it up. I stepped onto the court and just completely could not help anything. I mean really, I kept saying to myself, I dunno if I can help us tonight.



The first set was tight, but fortunately for us, we had the edge. Great plays from Jeng, Jhoy , Rubie and some huge blocks and touches from Jill, kept us up and in the match. Honestly I don't remember contributing at all the first set. The Army team was on me like white on rice, yet I kept getting set. Soooo again what can you do but battle. I'm gonna get blocked. I'm gonna hit the ball out. I'm gonna fall. I am not perfect. I don't think people really understand that. The Army has just as good if not better players as I. This whole league does. The only thing I can control is getting back up, dusting myself off and going on to the next point. That's probably the most frustrating thing to me. So its great that the team carried me that first set.

Now the next sets, I really cannot express without being so angry. Because we totally lost focus with everything. As Jen left the match with knee pain, so did our reception and defense. It was a huge blow to us. I love having Jenny back there, because she is such a leader. She directs traffic back there. I can hear her talking to everyone, to me and it makes me feel secure somehow. So when she is out, it leaves a big role vacant, not only physically, but verbally.

The Army had our number this night. They clearly had constructed a game plan to minimize our big hitters. One way to do that for sure is to serve tough. One can serve players out of a match. We allowed that to happen. With poor reception, our options were very limited. Pretty much all we had were free balls and high balls to the open position against a very well placed double block. Not much a team can do with that.

Defense was also missing. I remember hitting some pretty hard balls, like really nice balls. And the Army dug it and got it back over. I remember doing that many times and its like well that's good defense. Its gonna happen. They are a good team. What was unacceptable to me was free balls or chance balls or balls that are deemed easy, hitting the floor without anyone going for them. That made my blood boil. Its the little things... that come up big. You create your own luck, right. I figure the Army could sacrifice their body to keep a ball from hitting the floor, why couldn't we? They put themselves in positions to be lucky even if they were out of position. The ball was up off the floor. PERIOD.

Under pressure, we all started making horrible unforced errors that would doom us for sure. We had a slight comeback in the 4th set, but could not hold on to the lead and the Army took advantage and sealed our fate. All I can say is that we beat ourselves tonight and it was very disappointing. I can say that Jhoy Benito really played well on the outside. At times she was the only person from our side that could find the open court.

Leaving the court that day, I can say I was more disappointed than mad. I felt like I had let my team down. I felt like I couldn't help us win. I felt like I couldn't help us get better. I know no one person can lose a game, but on that night I felt helpless. We for sure as a team lost that match. The bottom-line is we fell apart and did not play as a team. The Army team picked us apart and we let it happen. Loss of focus and uncertainty were the keys to our demise. I think it was a big lesson for us. Hopefully we can learn from it and move on. One thing is for sure. The road that championship goes through this Army team. Have to adjust.

"Ive missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. " - Michael Jordan